Cabo Day Two

 I woke up and sauntered into the sun to find my family having lunch outside. The whole family. My sister Fiona had popped in from the bay while I was sleeping. I can’t remember the last time we were all sitting at one table. I take my seat and take it in. There isn’t much to catch up on, we stay in touch, but there’s always plenty to talk about. After lunch Fiona gets a tour of the area and we wind up at one of the pools.

My plan was simple, read my book in the sun and drink beer. Unfortunately it was not going to be so simple, a very drunk American in the hot tub was loudly conducting a very important lecture at whomever was misfortune enough to be in earshot. I relocated myself to the swim up bar nearby. When his howlings made it that far, I closed my book. If you can’t beat em, join em. This fine sunburnt specimen of an American tourist came all the way from San Marcos (hate California. Newscum made the taxes too high) to haunt my life in Mexico. Joining him in the pool was a basketball player for the Astros, his girlfriend who dances for the Nicks, and a number of childhood family friend from Connecticut and New Jersey. Every time the basketball player started to talk about sports the man interjected with some yarn about his son. This kid apparently played every sport, was beloved by every coach, gets perfect grades, and only has a fake ID to get into Jazz clubs. A real all American Boy Scout. His father drinks more than I do, loudly proclaimed his joy at being able to come to Cabo to relive his youth (no wedding ring, my wife didn’t want to come), and insisted on interrupting us with a littany of bullshit stories. He was so far gone that I decided to just start making fun of him to his face, just to see if he would notice. It was well deserved, after all, he ruined my reading for the afternoon. He wasn’t able to discern that he was being teased and continued on, telling the NBA player next to him all about his son’s basketball scores. Thrilling. After some time he decided to leave us in peace. This was not before his childhood friend, who bore more than a passing resemblance to Kid Rock, blessed us with his company. Kid Rock was quite a bit better behaved, pleasant, and less creepy than his friend. I’m still glad they left us alone.

Since it was still Valentine’s Day, we were in need of a celebration. Pizza and beer back at the ranch. Sometimes the best things are simple.